Went completely nuts and screamed at the computer and started smashing on the desk (because Firefox was running slow) and then almost started crying for no reason at Safeway.
so apparently when I go camping (or when a bunch of guys with mood/personality problems drink a lot of alcohol in the woods), I regress to some kind of hyena-like state of bad behavior, in which tents are driven into with cars, $20 bottles of wine are chugged out of red Solo cups, conversation focuses exclusively on topics related to Nazism and pornography, and embarrassment and guilt become the primary emotional states of the entire venture.
(although at least I’m not the one who threw a case of Bud Light Straw-Ber-Ritas over a bridge into a shallow river right next to someone’s campsite, prompting my friends to get the bartender to cut me off. and I also didn’t vomit in plain view of a bunch of people in broad daylight.)
The symptoms of major depression are basically identical to “how you feel when you don’t exercise a lot and eat perfectly” so I have no idea who to believe.
I went through my goodreads list of unread books (~1000). The list of ones that aren’t basically downers was maybe 30 items long.
and I quote (charlie work edition):
"At its core I love it. I love the dark, I love slippery things, I love being naked. In the sewer. Bleach smells good and tastes good."
what to read
had the good luck to find that a friend had copies of both Joan Didion’s Salvador and Ryszard Kapuscinski’s Shah of Shahs, so the question is whether I want to read a depressive account of the El Salvadorian civil war, or a surreal (/depressive) account of the Iranian Revolution.